Only Now
by Doctor Addison Montgomery
Summary: Daniel/Vala. Set during Memento Mori. With Vala still missing, Daniel reflects on their first meeting as well as the feelings he might have for her. Oneshot. Reviews are appreciated. Xx


**Only Now**

**_Summary: Daniel/Vala. Set during Memento Mori. With Vala still missing, Daniel reflects on their first meeting as well as the feelings he might have for her._**

_Written for the 'Springtime is for Lovers' challenge over on the Daniel/Vala LJ comm. Maybe slightly out of character for Daniel, but this came about from watching 'Prometheus Unbound' (for the 100th time!) and wondering what Daniel was really thinking, and how her disappearance during 'Memento Mori' may have affected him. Reviews are appreciated!_

* * *

When he had taken Vala out for dinner, a purely innocent gesture of friendship he still protested, and she had assumed it was a date Daniel once again reconsidered their relationship. Military personnel were not allowed to date, period. Even Daniel who, despite his extremely capable brain, often missed what was right in front of him, was certain O'Neill and Carter would have stepped their relationship up a gear if this rule hadn't existed. Daniel wasn't even sure it the rule applied to him and Vala. After all, she had hardly joined Stargate Command through the usual channels. He wasn't sure why he was even debating this with himself, because it was her, and only her, who had suggested that this evening was more than just a dinner between two colleagues; two friends.

Perhaps they could have discussed this had Vala returned from the ladies room. As it was fate, as it often did in the lives of the SG-1 team, intervened.

Now Vala was missing and Daniel was beginning to wish he had found an earlier opportunity to re-evaluate his feelings for her.

* * *

It was different around the base without her, even though Daniel had worked there for eight years before Vala had blown into his life with all the force and grace of a hurricane. She had such presence though; such spirit that she was easily missed. Sometimes Daniel had longed for some peace from her, mainly because he was the member of the team she spent most of her time with. He was regretting those thoughts now, thinking that he would give anything for one of those frustrating conversations, like the time he'd had to explain to her why drinking five espressos in a row was not usually a great idea.

The search for Vala continued but as time passed the hunt became less of a priority for the SGC, with alien threats coming in from all side and new worlds to explore. Sam and Cameron had convinced him that no one was giving up the search for Vala but with each day that passed Daniel's hope began to wane.

He had been searching his office for a particular book on ancient texts when he came across his diary from two years ago at the bottom of a dusty stack. Daniel didn't have many secrets from the team he worked with, only that he kept a journal. He couldn't store them off base, if they fell into the wrong hands the damage would be more that just making him feel embarrassed, he'd be in breach of his clause with the Air Force.

Taking a seat, Daniel blew the dust from the cover, amazed at how much had accumulated in less than eighteen months, and opened up the journal. He flipped through the pages, finding routine descriptions of planets they had been too, information that was important to him but not necessary for his field reports. He had skipped many days and on some days he had written no more than a sentence or two, save for one particular page.

Daniel studied the date at the top of the page with a frown, before realising that it was the time of the mission he had and General Hammond had taken to try and track down the temporarily missing Atlantis team; the first time he had met Vala.

Daniel barely remembered writing the entry and couldn't stop himself from reading it again.

_Routine mission with Gen. Hammond to rescue, or at least locate, the Atlantis was certainly not routine. Accosted by a rather beautiful alien named Vala Mal Doran. During my eight years with the Stargate program I've met many different people, human and alien, but never anyone like her. Apart from the ones I work with, I don't get to socialise with women often, especially ones I'm so helplessly attracted to. The moment she removed her helmet, I knew that she was trouble and that she would have the upper hand, no matter how hard I tried to outsmart. She came across as cunning, independent and more than a little dangerous, and I was taken in by her more than I should have been. I was convinced that her interest in me was just a ruse and that she would have said the same things to me regardless of my age, gender and appearance. It was when she kissed me that I was completely thrown. My body had ached from our combat, her fighting skills were not much more superior than mine, but it was her tactics and deviousness that made her the sure winner. She seemed to have planned every step and every manoeuvre in her head, but the kiss was the one part that seemed to have genuinely arisen from the adrenaline of our combat. _

_It was later though, when we talked and ate together that I became to know some part of the real Vala Mal Doran. A voice at the back of my mind was warning me not to trust her too much or to put any stock in what she was saying, but I couldn't help it, I liked her. _

_Now she's gone, off into the far reaches of space, doing God only knows what and I can't help but wish we had had more time together._

Daniel looked up from the page of handwritten scrawl and smiled to himself. If he could only go back and tell his slightly younger self that he had certainly not see the last of Vala...

He shut the journal, placing it back at the bottom of a pile of books on the different dialects of ancient languages where he was certain no one at the base would ever go looking, and felt some of his hope returning. He had been convinced before that he would never see Vala again, and look how that had turned out. Maybe he'd be that lucky again and he and Vala would finally be able to talk about their feelings.

He had been so engrossed in his thoughts that Daniel hadn't noticed Sam, in her civilian clothing, leaning against the doorjamb. She looked happier and more relaxed than she had in weeks.

"Local police think they've found Vala." She said, without preamble. "We're going down to precinct now, to see if it's her."

Daniel was out from behind his desk before the words had barely left Sam's mouth. He couldn't explain it scientifically or rationally, but he was sure that the woman the police had found was Vala.

"Give me five minutes and I'm coming with you!" He told Sam, dashing down the corridor to the locker room.

Sam watched him as he hurried away, a knowing smile playing across her lips.


End file.
